When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
