I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
