Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
