we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
