And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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