i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This gyro tastes like lonliness
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
