Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
