I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
