I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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