we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize