i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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