honey bunches of taint.
We got so high we made milksteak
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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