fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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