4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize