hell yes lets make some ravioli
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
