Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
