the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
