Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
