Where is the hickey?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I lost the right to judge tonight
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
