Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
