Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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