nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
