I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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