Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
