The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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