Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
im holly from the hills drunk
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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