My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
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