yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
