TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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