my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
