Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
