they need to just BURY HIM!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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