Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
