jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize