I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
