there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
