His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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