Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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