the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
