Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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