I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
