is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
