the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize