I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
