i think my tv is drunk
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
