one two three fourrrrnication!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
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