There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
