just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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