He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
