How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
