You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
This is my gift to your gina
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
