You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Shame - the story of my life.
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