Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
