The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
