Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
