It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
