Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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