The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize