He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
